Sephiroth Drabbles and OneShot's
by Burning In The Dark
Summary: The name says it all, its a bunch of humorous things I imagine Sephiroth getting into. This is a hilarious and somewhat cute series of Drabbles and OneShots. Please read if you LOVE the pairing Cloud & Sephiroth. Please read and review thank you!


Disclaimer; You seriously think I own this? Well you can buy my very fine bridge (: No I don't own it

I will explain at the end of this the reason I wrote it (: so please read and enjoy! Yes it is all comedy... well this drabble anyways.

Sephiroth Drabbles.

Eau De Chocobo

Cloud watched as all his other fellow cadets opened packages from their parents, his best friend in the cadet barracks always got something interesting. However this time Cloud actually had a package this time, from his mother, he wanted to cry or rip the package open so fast whatever in it would reveal itself to him. Cloud started to slowly open the package until Gregory jumped on his bunk and landed right behind him.

"Ooooh Cloud... what've you got?" Gregory inquired; he was always a sticky-beak. Cloud turned around and stared him in the eyes. Cloud clutched the package and rolled of the bed just as Gregory made a leap for it. With a reassuring thud, Cloud sat back on the bed and opened the brown package. Inside was a letter from his mother, a few Gil, a CD and Cologne?

_Now why would my mother send me, of all things, Cologne? I wonder what it smells like... _Cloud looked at the Cologne bottle label, he wanted to laugh... His mother sure did have a sense of humour, while observing the bottle closely, he didn't expect Gregory to come and snatch the bottle from him.

"Eau De Chocobo?" Gregory said in disbelief. Cloud had a smile on his face at this. He still wondered why his mother would give him such a thing... but either way he was happy, it's Friday, his mother sent him something and he got to spend the weekend with Sephiroth. He snatched his Cologne back and threw it in his weekend bag. Normally he would meet Sephiroth at Zacks before going to Sephiroth's apartment, today was no different.

Cloud met up with Zack just before he got in the elevator, which was a relief for him because he always felt out of place when no one who was third Class or higher was with him. Cloud and Zack talked for the whole elevator ride, which were sixty four floors. He learnt that Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth loved to dump the paperwork they didn't want to do onto Zack, and Zack really couldn't refuse.

And in turn Cloud told him about the training and the fact they were holding auditions for some cadets to move up to third class, but it was tough. Cloud told him about what his mother sent him and he left out the Eau De Chocobo, he didn't want Zack and the other people in the elevator to know of his mothers, and admittedly his, odd sense of humour. _I wonder, really wonder what the chocobo cologne smells of; I could always try it on myself... but I don't like that idea... _Cloud didn't get to finish his musings. He walked through the small hallway and to Zacks. After a few minutes Zack unlocked the door and walked in.

Zack did his usual routine; throw his stuff on the lounge, then lie on it. Cloud sat on Zacks feet, some things never changed. Cloud and Zack were alerted to when Angeal was home, only because the bang he did was so loud, it scared them both into upright positions. Angeal looked sick, and extremely tired. Cloud watched as Zack, who looked very much like an eager puppy at that moment, raced to Angeal and hugged him tight.

It brought a smile to Angeal and Clouds faces. Cloud moved to the single chair facing the door. He knew it was either sit next to a touchy-feely Angeal and Zack on the two-seater lounge, or sit on the single seat lounge and be less likely to gag. Angeal greeted Zack, then Cloud. They exchanged the normal conversations, until Zack suddenly put his hand on Angeal's forehead.

Cloud watched as Zack fussed over Angeal, he watched as Zack deducted that Angeal was overworked and needed rest. As Zack took Angeal into the bedroom, and lied him down, to rest, Cloud was slightly afraid when Zack came out of the bedroom in a Nurses outfit... it did look good on him, but he never figured, he would do something like that...

"Before you say anything... it's the only way to make Angeal do as he's told when he is sick..." Zack sighed. Cloud was speechless... he was learning a bit too much. Cloud and Zack both jumped a little when there was a loud bang on the door. Cloud watched as Zack answered the door and there was an audible sound of a bag dropping, and a squeal from Zack.

"Seeeeeeph!" Zack Squealed in delight. Then, practically jumped into his arms. Cloud giggled when Sephiroth walked in with arms at his sides and Zack clinging onto him in a pink nurse's outfit... it was quite amusing for Cloud. Cloud smiled at Sephiroth and he smiled back.

"Zackary... you might want to change your attire... or are you expecting another patient?" Sephiroth said in a mocking tone. Cloud knew what he was mocking about, after all... Angeal wasn't Zack's only lover...

Cloud watched as his lover came over and sat next to him, while Cloud and Sephiroth waited for Zack to change out of one his favourite outfits, they exchanged a few kisses and mild cuddling.

"Awww come on you guys... you don't have to do this, in front of me while Angeal is sick!" Zack whined. Cloud turned around to make a rebuttal but was stopped, dead in his tracks. He felt Sephiroth's arm around him shift as he turned around also, Cloud watched Sephiroth's reaction. Since Cloud was concentrating he saw the slight widening of the eyes and the raise of one of the crescent like silver brows.

"Zackary... when I said you should change into something more comfortable, I did not mean to wear your birthday suit for the world to see" Sephiroth said in mock disgust. Cloud, was like any healthy seventeen year old boy, he just turned tomato red, you could see it through his blonde spikes.

Cloud coughed on impact, as Zack tackle-hugged him naked as the day he was born. After an hour or so of sitting around Zack and Angeal's apartment, Sephiroth decided it was time to take Cloud home and, do scandalous things to him.

Cloud flopped back onto the bed, with a naked Sephiroth following. Sephiroth pulled Cloud close to him, and Cloud relished the feel of his lover's warm skin, and how soft it was. _Ahhh showers are so good after a lovemaking session like that... _"Hey Seph... how come you didn't tell me till now you always fantasised about me as a schoolgirl?" Cloud squeezed out. It really embarrassed him.

"Because... I knew you wouldn't do anything about it, till you realised how much it turned me on" Sephiroth laughed and kissed Cloud's head. "You know you're a real minx in the bedroom right?"

Cloud knew Sephiroth would be able to see the blush through his hair, and the rest of his body. He didn't remember when he learnt his full body blushed badly when Sephiroth talked to him during sex and well... almost whenever they were naked. Cloud turned around and gave Sephiroth a kiss then tried to talk, but was a bit to taken back.

_Come on Cloud! You have seen him so many times, looking so hot after a shower... why is it now I get choked up! _ But Cloud did manage to get out what he wanted to say after two minutes of looking like a fish out of water. "Hey Seph, you do remember it's my turn to choose a place for us to go to tomorrow right?" Cloud asked with a puppy dog face.

Cloud watched through big, elated puppy dog eyes. "Of course not Cloudy, where do you want to go tomorrow?" Sephiroth asked him kindly. Cloud really hadn't thought that far, but his mind soon travelled to the cologne his mother sent him, and a wicked smirk crossed his features just as he buried his face in Sephiroth's chest.

"I want to go a chocobo farm Seph!" Cloud said in a very innocent tone. He felt Sephiroth's long fingers curl around his own fingers and around his chin and gave him a tender kiss. He knew this meant Sephiroth was fine his choice and he knew next weekend it would be Sephiroth's turn to choose, _hopefully he wouldn't want to go to another leather expo, and they were frightening! _

Cloud felt sleep quickly pulling him in, as he muttered a 'good night' and a 'I love you' to Sephiroth what he heard before sleep finally took over, let him know whatever was going to happen tomorrow, Sephiroth deserved it.

"I love you too chocobo face" Sephiroth said and snuggled closer to Cloud.

Sephiroth drove to one of the biggest Chocobo farms close to Midgar where the air was crisper and the scenery was beautiful. Cloud was staring out the window and playing with the radio, and singing along to songs. Cloud was really excited, he had never been to a Chocobo farm before, and he knew this would be fun.

He put his backpack on when they reached their destination, Cloud hoped out of the car so quickly, he thought he could've injured himself if he were any faster. After spending an hour looking at all the chocobo's Cloud decided to just stand at the fence and lean his chin against his arms. He watched as Sephiroth soon followed suit.

"Uh Seph, can you wait here... I need to go to the toilet" Cloud watched as Sephiroth absentmindedly nodded at him. Cloud did go to the toilet, and once he was done using the facilities, he opened his bag after washing his hands and pulled out the chocobo cologne... he opened the lid and took a sniff... "Ugh it really reeks of Chocobo's" Cloud said out loud and put the bottle in his pocket.

_I wonder what happens if I spray this on someone... oh well... since Sephiroth is the only one I know here, it will be him... after all he did call me 'Chocobo face'. _ With that resolve, Cloud walked out of the toilets quickly towards Sephiroth and before he made it fully next to Sephiroth, he sprayed some of the Eau De Chocobo on him, enough to make it noticeable but not to most people, since it was a chocobo farm... it reeked of chocobo here... you couldn't really tell the difference.

"Hey Seph" Cloud said tugging on one of Sephiroth's sleeves, like a child would do to a parent. When Sephiroth looked at Cloud with a smile, he knew it was okay to continue. "Can we go pat some chocobo's pleeeease Sephy...?" Cloud whined and within a few seconds of it, Cloud got his wish as Sephiroth nodded his head.

Cloud had to put his backpack on one of the racks, because sometimes the birds liked to take them. Sephiroth followed Cloud closely as Cloud ran over to a giant yellow and basically hugged it. When Cloud turned around there was a chocobo following Sephiroth very close... very, very closely.

"Hey Seph, did you know a Chocobo is very closely following you?" Cloud asked. Sephiroth turned around and jumped slightly the bird was close, but Cloud knew he didn't expect it to be that close. Cloud giggled a little and turned back to the chocobo he was petting before and continued to, he watched as Sephiroth went to pat another chocobo from the corner of his eye. When Cloud looked at Sephiroth again, there was now four chocobo's following him. And then every time Cloud turned back around, there was four more chocobo's following Sephiroth.

Cloud stopped paying attention to the chocobo he was currently petting, because it started chasing Sephiroth, along with the others. He was laughing as Sephiroth was trying to outrun the birds, but every time some got tired, there was more chasing him, no matter what he did.

"Hey Cloud, how're you" Cloud straightened up as he heard Genesis' voice and he looked at Genesis and Zack holding hands and smiled.

"I'm good thanks, and you two? Where is Angeal?" Cloud asked politely while still watching Sephiroth as was he was chased by birds.

"He will be here soon, and we're good... he didn't tell me that yesterday he put on the nurses outfit, he payed for that last night" Genesis said with a smirk while looking at Zack. Cloud heard Zack do a mock whimper.

"We came here because Sephiroth said it needed to be lightened up, but I see he is getting exercised, we drove two hours for nothing" Angeal said.

That was when Cloud got a devious smirk on his face and turned to them and said "Hey guys... I know it's odd, but do you guys want to try this new cologne I have?" Cloud asked holding up the bottle, but covering the name with his other hand. "It really attracts chicks I can assure you of that!" Cloud said happily.

Cloud saw Genesis and Zack nod and step for and allow them to get sprayed. Cloud knew Angeal was a jealous loved, and he followed suit... Cloud grinned as a few chocobo's who were standing near them, started pecking Angeal and Zack, Genesis was fending them off... then they charged at him and Cloud watched in humour as they joined Sephiroth running from the birds.

Cloud was glad he went to the toilet before, because no he was on his knees laughing at the hysterical sight, every time Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack and Angeal got out of sight then back in, there was always more chocobo's chasing them. _I wonder why they don't chase me with the one with the bottle. _Cloud decided to put the bottle of Eau De Chocobo on the grass next to him. Just in case.

"Cloooooooooud" Cloud heard Sephiroth yell, and it didn't sound good.

"You're" And that was from Genesis.

"So" Angeal was in it too.

"Dead" Zack yelled out in annoyance and fear.

Cloud laughed, but he knew he wasn't going to see Sephiroth for a week that would just be Sephiroth's punishment; he shuddered to think of what the other three were going to do to him.

**Authors Note**

I know this is Entitled 'Sephiroth Drabbles' but I thought it really needed to be told from Cloud's perspective, this is just a drabble that came to me as I was playing Dissidia and I won this from a Arcade battle as Sephiroth, and I was away with a friend at a holiday place and my friend, being the lovely comedian she is started saying "Sephiroth will put his Cologne on and then suddenly chocobo's will be chasing him through Shin-Ra building" and I said "It really attracts the chicks doesn't it!" XD and I couldn't stop laughing.

She made a lot of other jokes and such; I couldn't look at her without bursting into laughter! I hope you enjoyed this! There will be more drabbles as they come to me (: oh and I will have a 'Genesis drabbles' collection... it will be hilarious, with the pairings of Genesis and Angeal and GenesisXZackXAngeal because yes... I like that ;) But this drabble series will be mainly CloudXSephiroth... I hope you enjoyed it :) I recently had a friend say I couldn't write for shit... well I know that is wrong :)

Please review and tell me what you think! Be nice :( I am sensitive... by the way reviews are like my candy, I love them, and they make me happy and make me want to write more! So review and I will give you an E-Cookie and maybe I might tell you something funny :) So please REVIEW AND BE KIND :) New Chapter of random drabble up soon I promise you this ;) I have a book full of random things I could see Sephiroth getting into, same with Genesis!

:) **Please review, it's not hard and it makes me happy :) No flamers... Thanks for reading you awesome people**

Did you know I was up till quarter to four in the morning writing this for you people? So no complaining I left crap out, I was tired as hell... and oh, before I forget, I am doing Fan Art for this myself. If you want to find my DA account its XMiss-NoirX Hope you will look at some of my stuff (: Thanks again and don't forget to **review**!


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